Goal 3 - The Quest to be a more perfect Mama...

While pondering this goal, I came across an article in the December issue of Parents magazine called "Raise a Compassionate Kid."  It highlighted the importance of instilling empathy, kindness, and caring in our children and their relationships.  This really hit a cord with me.  I adore my children and think they are wonderful, but given the choice, I do not wish to have the most beautiful children in the world, or the smartest children in the world. My one wish is to have well-adjusted, content, and caring children that contribute meaningfully to society.

It is easy to have goals for your children, but it is harder to figure out the path to attaining those goals.

I would really love to start doing little things with my children that make a difference.  Even if it just means drawing a picture for a special someone, helping take their used toys to children in need, or helping a friend that is feeling bad.  I have a strong sense of empathy, but it is a just a feeling, not an action.  I want to teach myself and my children to act on empathy and compassion and express them in positive ways.

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.  - David Bly

I think my biggest struggle is trying to be the kind of person that I want my kids to be.  I want my children to be healthy, yet I have demonstrated very unhealthy habits.  I want my children to be kind and compassionate, yet I am constantly saying unkind things or complaining about people.  I say things and do things I would never want my children to say and do.  I really want to strive to be the kind of person that I hope they will become.

It was a huge wake up call a few weeks ago when D, at age 4, was able to articulate that we were being hard on her and not using "nice" words.  We were expecting things from her that we were not demonstrating.  When we started making a concerted effort to be more polite and use kind words, she immediately became a happier, more compliant child.  I struggle with keeping my temper and remaining calm when the kids frustrate me.  It is a viscous cycle;  the more upset I become, the more they are inclined to make poor choices.  They feed off my mood and temper.  On rough days, where I have yelled and reacted poorly, I find myself going to bed with a nagging sense of guilt.

There are days that go by that I am cleaning, running errands, and doing variety of everyday tasks, and I look back and think that I spent very little time enjoying my children.  It seems like I get so preoccupied with life that I forget that my children need time as well.  I sometimes think about how time goes so quickly and before I know it D will be in kindergarten and I will miss having so much time with my babies.  I think it is important for children to have time on their own, to learn to develop their imaginations, play independently, and learn to be introspective; I also want to spend more quality time with them.  I think it would do us all good to slow down, enjoy each other, and try not to just rush from one thing to the next.

I absolutely love my children more than anything, but is hard being a mommy 24 hours a day.  I know I will never be perfect (and really I think it is good for kids to see some of our imperfections), but I do want to be better.  I want my children to learn about consequences without me losing my temper; I want them to feel loved and respected;  I want to enjoy my children.

Week 3- Progress Report

Pounds lost: .4 (total of 7.4 pounds)  

Rooms cleaned/organized:

               "master" closet

               "master" bedroom 

               downstairs that had been disasterized again!!!

              

Exercise:  1 out of 7 days  :(

               30 minutes total on the elliptical

I have spent a lot of time this week concentrating on my new SimplyFun business, which I am really excited about, so I was a bit quiet on the blog this week.

I had a pretty bad week on the eating/exercising front.  I only managed to exercise once and ate too much, snacked too much, and made poor choices. That being said, I still lost almost half a pound.  I was sure I had gained.  I think that what I consider poor choices and too many snacks now, is still less than what I was eating before I started my quest.  I have started to feel a nagging since of guilt when I don't exercise.  I think it is my body's way of telling me that it likes the exercise.

I finally managed to regain control of my main downstairs area.  It got completely out of control a couple weeks ago and I hadn't managed to get it cleaned.  I also tackled the master bedroom and closet, which were a nightmare.  I feels so nice to wake up in a room where I don't have to fear stepping out of bed!  

My children knocked over a container of pistachios and dumped a container of baby puffs this week, combined with the construction going on in my house, my floor was disgusting.  My dear husband decided to sweep yesterday while I "slept" in.  I really appreciate his effort, but I have attached exhibit A, as to why men should not clean.

This is what I swept up after he had already swept.

Goals for next week:

- exercise at least 4 days

- continue to eat healthier, cut snacking, and eat smaller portions

- try to maintain the cleanliness of the rooms I have already organized

- tackle the playroom, decorate for Christmas 

- finish blog post on Goal 3

Fun and Games

I am excited to announce that I have recently started my SimplyFun business. I can't wait to share these amazing products with all of you. SimplyFun is about learning and connecting through play and bringing family together.
I was first drawn to this company because of all the interesting games for children and adults and have grown more and more impressed as I have learned about their mission and goals.


Please check out http://www.alh.simplyfun.com/
I have a few things coming up that I would love your help with.  First off, I am having a kickoff party on Sunday, December 12^th at 2pm.  I will be sending an e-invitation shortly.   I would love for you all to stop by and learn about these products.  It will be my first time sharing these games, and I can’t wait.  I don’t want you to feel pressured to buy.  If you do decide to buy something, all orders will be in before Christmas, and I will deliver them directly to you as soon as they come in.  Please feel free to bring a friend.
For those of you that are out of town, you can check out the products and order on the tab that says “party store.” 
I am also challenging myself to book some parties for December and January.  I would love your help in spreading the word about SimplyFun.  The parties are laid back and fun, consisting of playing a few SinplyFun games, while chatting with friends.  You also get the opportunity to earn some GREAT free products and bonuses.  I have attached the bonus sheet for December so you can see what great products you can get in addition to your Host credits.  In the month of January, you will earn DOUBLE host credit!  Out of towners can have an on-the-go party, which often have great success.  I can start a book party anytime and as long as it ends by December 16^th, the items will be mailed to your address before Christmas.
I have lots of options and dates to accommodate all kinds of schedules.  You can see some of the options below.

v     Weeknight party- a few friends and some game playing

v     Weekend party – a party in the morning or afternoon

v     Office/school party – I can come to your office or school after hours and set up a quick party.  This works particularly well for teachers, as we have lots of educational games

v     Kids party – A party where the adults talk while the younger ones play

v     Holiday shopping party – I can bring products that make great holiday presents

v     Mother/daughter party – This works best for 10 and up, Moms and kids kids and play games together

v     PJ party – an evening party in your PJs with your friends playing party games

v     Couples Party – Have your favorite game playing couples over to play

v     On-the-go book party – Just share catalogues and collect orders

v     Coffee / Restaurant party – Don’t want to have people at home, share the games at your favorite coffee house or casual restaurant

v     Co-host – A friend’s house, your snacks

v     Club party – if you are part of a moms group or other club, I would love to come show you all my games.

If you have any other ideas, I would love to hear them.  If you would like me for a specific date not listed below, please just ask!

Open dates (all parties ending by December 16^th are guaranteed to be in before Christmas):

Monday, December 13^th 6:30 or 8:00pm

Tuesday, December 14^th 6:00 or 8:00 pm

Wednesday, December 15^th 5:30 or 8:00pm

Saturday, December 18^th 10:00am

Saturday, December 18^th 2:00pm

Monday, December 20th 5:00 or 8:00 pm

Tuesday, December 28^th 6:30 or 8:00pm

January Dates:

Monday, January 4th 6:00 or 8:00 pm

Tuesday, January 12^th  6:00 or 8:00 pm

Saturday, Janurary 16^th  10:00am

Saturday, Janurary 16^th  2:00pm

Monday, January 18^th 5:00 or 8:00pm

Thursday, January 21^st 6:00 or 8:00pm

Sunday, January 24^th, 3:00pm

Week 2 - We broke the bed...

...and it wasn't even fun.  After tackling the master bedroom today, I made Mike help me move the furniture.  While attempting to move the bed, we busted the part where the headboard meets the side slats.  Mike rigged up a support, so hopefully it doesn't collapse in the middle of the night.  

I owe a big thank you to my hubby for helping rearrange the bedroom.

I am slightly embarrassed to show you pics of my bedroom, before I started today.  It is by far the most disastrous room in my house, essentially becoming a catch all for everything that doesn't have a home.  As I have mentioned before, we do not know how to use a hamper and laundry tends to accumulate in my house.  Consequently, the floor is generally pretty hard to find in our room.  

We are currently not in the master, because the master bath is under construction.  This is why our room is incredibly boring with nothing on the walls.  I cannot wait to move to the master and get a KING bed!

Before:

All the boxes and baskets were a result of the closet cleaning yesterday.  My husband wasn't happy that he couldn't get to bed last night.

The co-sleeper that Heath no longer sleeps in.

After:

Sorry Ladies...He's all mine!

On a less positive note, I didn't do so well on the better body quest today.  I made bad eating choices and snacked a lot.  I also didn't have the energy to work out (those things are probably related).  My thyroid is also messed up again, so I have been feeling a little out of sorts.

Tomorrow is a new day...

Week 2: The Mommy's New Clothes...

I tackled our closet today.  It doesn't seem like a big job, but if you look below you will see what a disaster it was.  I even found a few clothes that had been missing for a couple months.  

Most of the clothes and shoes in our closet belong to my husband, who has an unreasonable amount of clothing for a man.  I went through and got rid of some things he never wears, along with my left over maternity clothes and ended up with 4 bags of clothes to get rid of.

Before:

I had a mommie dearest moment here and started cursing the wire coat hangers.  They come on Mike's dry cleaning and he forbids me from taking the shirts off and putting them on plastic hangers.  He says they keep the shoulders neater.  It is annoying when they are all tangled up with the other hangers.

My vanity...

Is that hamper?  What is it for?

After:

I sent the suitcases to the basement and brought in the extra dressers that used to be in the girls' room.  Now I have a dresser for H's things and one for my purses and such.

Now we just have to figure out how to use a hamper.  It doesn't seem like a hard thing, but no one in my family seems to know how to use one.  The dirty clothes all end up on the bedroom floor.  

Week 2 - Progress Report

Pounds lost: 2.2 pounds (total of 7 pounds)  

Rooms cleaned/organized:

                cleaned my car

                sorted through books for church

                Sorted through bags of accumulated stuff!

              

Exercise:  4 out of 7 days

               120 minutes total on the elliptical

I feel pretty good about the week.  I wish I had gotten more cleaning done, but the holiday got in the way.  I am happy that I was able to lose a couple of pounds despite a huge Thanksgiving dinner!  I am trying to watch what I eat, but not restrict myself, because I know that is the only way I can stick to it.  

We had big plans to clean up the playroom and put up the Christmas decorations this weekend, but my dad had a medical emergency that got in the way.  After dropping my parents at the airport on Saturday, my dad suddenly went blind in one eye.  I turned around and picked them up, to take my dad to the ER.  It turns out he had a retinal tear and hemorrhaging, which they were able to do emergency laser surgery on today.  D was amazing and set with me in the emergency room waiting room for 3+ hours.  I am so thankful for wonderful friends (Andrea and family) and my mother-in-law and brother-in-law who were able to babysit M and H, so Mike could join me at the hospital.

Goals for next week:

- exercise at least 4 days

- continue to eat healthier, cut snacking, and eat smaller portions

- try to maintain the cleanliness of the rooms I have already organized

- tackle the playroom, my closet, Christmas decorations

Week 2: Turkey Day Success

I had a pretty successful day today.  I got up early and logged 30 minutes on the elliptical and managed to eat a pleasant, but not uncomfortable amount of food.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.  This has always been one of my favorite holidays;  I love a good turkey dinner with all the fixings and spending time with family.  This year it is even better because I don't have to worry about hosting and everything that goes with it.

I have a lot to be thankful for this year, so I will list a few:

- Three AMAZING children that are healthy and happy

- A loving and affectionate husband

- Great parents, without which I would not be able to survive 3 children 4 and under

- My minivan!!!!!

- A home, my husband's job, the health of my family, the motivation to get my life in order, friends

I also secretly love Black Friday ads.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bargain shopper through and through, so Black Friday gives me a little rush of joy.  I haven't been able to shop much on Black Friday since I had kids, but I love perusing the ads.


I am off to buy a newspaper and eat some turkey...

Week 2: Busy Busy Bee

I had a fairly productive day.  I spent the morning, while D was in school, running around looking for a pair of pjs for christmas pictures.  I was completely exhausted, but decided to work out instead of napping.  I did 30 minute on the elliptical while watching Punky Brewster with D.  I love sharing one of my favorite kid shows with her.  Although,  I don't think she appreciates it as much as I would like!

Today's Accomplishments:
30 min on elliptical
cleaned out my car (no pics, but it needed it badly)
sorted boxes and bags of "stuff" that had accumulated a

and....

Baked homemade banana nut bread.  I even toasted my own walnuts (I needed them for a recipe tonight anyway) and made my own buttermilk (milk and lemon juice).  It is the perfect treat for my family, because they love it; I don't.  I am not even tempted a little.  

Your thoughts...

I was watching a TV show and the woman was talking about how you are more productive and feel better about yourself when you get up and get dressed in the morning and get out of the house.  As one who regularly stays in my PJs on days when I don't have plans, I am not sure I agree with this.

What are your thougts?  Are you more productive when you get up and out and dressed?

Where oh Where has my little receipt gone?

I am attempting to organize my massive stash of rebates/coupons/bills and getting frustrated.  It is a bit overwhelming and I am continually amazed at the number of things I can lose.

Week 2- A good start

Just finished 30 minutes on the elliptical.

I was out most of the day, so I didn't get a lot done.  I did sort through 6 boxes off books to donate to the church used book sale.  Feels good to donate to a good cause, and now I am down to 2 boxes of books in the basement!  I have a very strong attachment to books, so letting go is hard for me.  I think that eliminating the clutter is finally a higher priority.  My husband will be so proud!

Week 1: A cleaner closet.

I organized the disaster of a coat closet today.  We have about 87 coats for 5 people.  I think we need to donate some.

Before:

After:

Week 1- Progress Report

Pounds lost: 4.8 pounds (since Wednesday as my scale batteries were dead earlier in the week)

Rooms cleaned/organized: 2 (plus clothes tubs and coat closet)

              girl's room

              garage

              clothes

              coat closet:  updates coming soon!

Exercise:  3 out of 7 days

               80 minutes total on the elliptical

I had a rough morning.  It was one of those mornings where nothing seems to go right and everyone gets irritable.  It put me in a depressing mood and all I wanted to do after church was take a nap; I was completely unmotivated.  It was frustrating because I felt so great yesterday and got so much done, to follow it up with a lazy unproductive day.  Although it's aggravating, it isn't surprising, because it is a normal reaction for me.  This is one of the reasons that I get myself organized and then let everything go.  Part of this project is to help me better understand myself and work through my self-inflicted obstacles.  So, I gave myself a little lazy time, ran a much needed errand, and then did a small productive project, the coat closet.  

I still feel a little disappointed with myself and wish I had made myself exercise, but I am trying to remember that baby steps are okay.  

So overall, this was a good week.  I feel like I accomplished a lot of cleaning/organizing, I started exercising, lost a few pounds, and even learned a little about myself.  I did have one setback, in my concentration on cleaning the garage and exercising, I let the downstairs of my house get out of control.  A little picking up and some laundry this evening has gotten it back to a manageable point.  I really struggle with the maintenance side of cleaning.  My dad once joked that I had to let my house get to a certain threshold of messiness before I could start cleaning up.  He isn't too far off.  

Goals for next week:

- exercise at least 4 days

- continue to eat healthier, cut snacking, and eat smaller portions

- try to maintain the cleanliness of the rooms I have already organized

- tackle the playroom, my car, and maybe the my bedroom

I also have a few new long term/ big goals that I am working on, stay tuned for more...

Week 1: A NEW Garage!

edit:  I just went through and read this and it is a bit cheesy and annoyingly upbeat.  I apologize in advance.

Well, technically not new, but in the nearly 3 years we have lived here, I have NEVER been able to park in the garage before today.  I decided it was time to clear the clutter, so I would be able to park inside when it gets cold.  I worked my butt off!  Check out the before and after pics below.  I am so thankful that H and M took a 3+ hour nap, allowing me some uninterrupted work time (and thanks to D who finished my crossword puzzle while I was cleaning, even though the letters make no sense).  

I didn't get around to the elliptical today.  We spent the morning looking at tile for our new shower tile (can't wait to have the master done!)  and this afternoon on the garage.  I don't feel bad, as I lifted and carried furniture, bags of mulch, boxes, etc.  My calves tell me I got enough of a work out.

I feel great about being productive and love clean space.  I just want to stand in the garage and stare at the non-clutter.  I might need some help!  I am also exhausted and could have gone to sleep when the kids did, but got side tracked on sorting through Christmas stuff.

Before (I forgot to take a picture right away, so imagine all the stuff from the driveway in the garage):

After:

Week 1- 3 out of 5 ain't bad...

I just logged another 25 minutes on the elliptical.  I have worked out the past three days and it feels great.  I find that when I am exhausted, 25 minutes on the elliptical actually pumps me up and makes me more productive.  I guess that throws out the "I'm too tired" excuse.  Maybe I shouldn'ty have admitted that!

It Feels so good!

30 minutes logged on the elliptical tonight, while watching The Mentalist.  I took a nap this afternoon, so I didn't think I would be able to fit in exercise.  Funny what happens when you readjust your priorities!

Food for thought...pun intended

Twinkie diet helps nutrition professor lose 27 pounds - CNN.com

Week 1: Starting up the big hill...

Just did 25 minutes on the elliptical for the first time in months!!! 

Week 1: Plastic tub jungle and something more important

I had big plans to get lots of stuff done today, since it was a stay home day.  I was laying on the couch this morning trying to get enough energy to start working and M came to join me.  I hugged her and said "I need to get up."  She looked at me with her big brown eyes and said "You need to NOT get up,"  and then cuddled up next to me.  The work waited.  

Some things are just more important than organizing.  :)

But I did manage to get a project done that has been nagging me.  I had trash bags and trash bags full of outgrown and out of season clothing and shoes sitting in the basement, waiting to be sorted.  I got up the nerve to carry them all up and have a sorting party.  The girls made signs and carried clothes to piles while I sorted. I even found an entire winter wardrobe for M that D had outgrown.

The results 7 tubs, 1 box, 5 trash bags of stuff to sell, a tub to play in, and one giant laundry pile!  Now I need a big strapping man to help me carry all the tubs back downstairs!  

The things that make me smile

The sound of my three little ones cracking up at the dinner table, makes all the hard work worth it.

I just wanted share one of the little reasons that I am doing this.

Week 1: Some progress to report

This week I tackled the girls room.   I kept waiting to do anything with their room, becasue I know they are going to end up in a different room when our master is done being remodeled.  Two and a half years later I give up on the waiting.  When they finally move to the other bedroom, I plan on doing a little more decorating (and yes, Dinah wants pink walls).  I have even kept their beds made for the past two days!  

Here are the before and after pictures.

Before:  

Way too much furniture, toys all over the beds and floor, barren walls

Overflowing dressers, too many stuffed animals, and piles of outgrown and summer clothes

The dresser top catch all storage area:

Disorganized closet:

And drumroll please...................

After:

Beds on a different wall, decorations on the wall.

Dresser top and hooks.  The pink bins are Ikea grocery bag holders that I put socks and panties in.  I had to get out the power tools for this one folks!

The closet.  It still needs doors, but they are in the basement waiting to be stained.

Heath's bed, which will hopefully be moved to a different room in the next few weeks.

Goal 2 - The Quest to organize my surroundings...

At the age of six or seven my grandma was babysitting me.  The instructions for the day "have Amber pick up and put away her room, do NOT ask her to clean her room."  My grandma made the mistake of telling me to "clean" my room.  The result- everything from my room, closet, drawers, and shelves was placed on my bed, so that I could start from scratch.

I haven't grown out of this.  I am still an all or nothing kind of girl.  Cleaning the kitchen not only means cleaning counters, doing dishes, and sweeping the floors, it means reorganizing the pantry, moving stuff around in the cabinets, removing and cleaning the refrigerator shelves, and typing up a list of what is in the deep freezer.  Focusing on one room, I neglect the rest of the house until it becomes a disaster zone.  Consequently, I find the prospect of cleaning the house a bit daunting, not to mention time consuming.

The little tasks that are innate to most people, doing a load of laundry a day, doing the dishes right after dinner, cleaning up toys nightly, essentially picking up as you go, elude me.  I struggle with the motivation to do the day to day things that keep me from becoming overwhelmed.

I know that my need to "clean" will not ever go away, I need to learn how to work with it and be productive despite it.  My goal is to get my house organized and neat, so that I can maintain a normal level of cleanliness with a small amount of daily work.  I want to get to place where I can have someone drop by without having to do a whirlwind clean up.  I want to have a presentable, neat house that isn't embarrassing.  Secondly, my hope is that my husband and children will become more helpful and support my goal.

Goal 1: The Quest to be a HOTTT Mama...

Health and physical wellbeing...

Over the past several years, I have let my health and body get completely out of control.  There is no reason, excuse, or justification for being so overweight and unhealthy.

There are a variety of reasons that I want to get my body in shape and healthy.  I want to live a long healthy life and lower my risk for heart disease/ diabetes/ etc; I want to get healthy for my children and be a good example.  I do not want my kids to develop the eating and exercise habits that I have.  And to be quite honest, it would be nice to be a hot mama (MILF, if you will).

Ultimately my goal would be to change my lifestyle and get to a healthy weight.  My ideal weight is 160, but I am setting my goal at 170.  I would like to become physically active and have a more active family life, and inspire my husband and children to be healthier and make life long healthy choices.

I have a variety of ideas that I would like to implement, but as I mentioned before, I am going to try to set small manageable goals so that I don't get discouraged and overwhelmed.  I might even post my before pictures one of these days!  :)  Stay tuned...

The Quest...

I think the first entry is the hardest...

Why am I blogging?  Moral support, encouragement, accountability, because I enjoy writing, or just complete and utter self indulgence.  Probably a little bit of all of those.  

What is my quest?  (At the risk of sounding completely cheesy or sarcastic), I am blogging about my quest to improve my life; be a better mom, wife, feel better physically and emotionally, and get my house in order.  I feel like I have let a lot of things go in the last few years.  

My biggest challenge will be letting go of my need for perfection (which generally results in being overwhelmed and giving up), and measuring my improvement in small manageable goals.

I vow to be completely and brutally honest, and share things that may not be pleasant or easy.  I hope to inspire myself and maybe even entertain you along the way.