A Boob, Time Magazine, and a Soap Box

I very rarely (or maybe frequently, if I am being honest) get so emotional that I feel the need to publicly vent, but I was upset seeing Time Magazine this month that I am starting up my blog again.

I am NOT this upset that women breastfeed older children. 

I am NOT this upset about the image on the cover, because I understand that sensationalism sells.  (Although I can imagine how unhappy that little boy will be with it when he is about 13)

I am NOT this upset at the title, which has a lot of bloggers in a tizzy.

I AM this upset because I am judging these women.  I would love to get on my high horse and say that mothers make the choices that are best for their children and that we should all accept and support those choices.


That would be hypocritical.

To say I am opinionated would be a drastic understatement.  I have opinions on just about everything and don't hesitate to share them.  At what point do my opinions become judgements?

When I am judging someone we tend to think "I would never do that."  Now I'm reminded of all the times I judged others and then found myself in the same situation: letting my kids watch too much TV,  going into public in pajamas,  never getting around to you sending thank your cards after a birthday party,  bribing my children with candy, taking my husband for granted. 

There are an abundance of websites dedicated to defining the difference between opinions and judgements.  I believe (an opinion) that an opinion is how one feels about an issue (i.e. I think you should breast feed, if you can, for a year).   It becomes a judgement when you draw a conclusion or think less of someone with a different opinion (i.e. There is something wrong with that mom for breastfeeding that long).  A judgement happens when we fail to respect others opinions. 

I can think of all the ways I'm not judgmental. 

I support gay marriage.
I have friends from a variety of different religions and backgrounds.
I don't judge people by their ethnicity or my family background.  

Do these things should make me nonjudgmental?

Because, I can also think of ways I have judged people in the last week.

I judged this mom on the cover of Time.
I just a friend who is getting a divorced.
I judged a good friend for buying a new car instead of paying off a credit card.
I judged an acquaintance for having a messy house.

Are these small, insignificant judgements any better than the larger judgements? 

Novelist Paulo Coelho wrote, "We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path."  There are countless ways to raise your children, manage your finances, or maintain a marriage, I do not have all the answers (I just pretend to).  Reserving judgement and respecting differences will be a lifelong learning experience for me and hopefully rub off on my children.


Will I ever judge someone again?  Probably.  Definitely. 

Will I stop to consider other people's situation and respect their opinions?  Hopefully.


So thank you Time Magazine for making me a better person.  (fingers crossed)